I've been out living, learning, hurting, and finding myself. Throughout the last year and a half, I've been on quite a journey. I felt that I found myself and what I wanted. Then, I felt I found the one! I saw past what I thought was expected, and in all this, I cried and lost all over again. It has, indeed, been quite a year!
Let me start with the last entry prior to my unexpected exit. I had let go of my former life and my ex-husband for good. I knew that being with him, I was weaker, and not true to myself. I was also allowing a part of my former life to continue and it was toxic to my current life.
I began dating again. I met a man that was nothing like I expected or saw coming. It was a complete accident how we met, and our relationship begin to flourish even though we were hours apart. Almost as quick as it started, it finished. He stopped calling. He did call one last time and explained that he was not the man he wanted to be for me. I simply took at is a sign that God knew he wasn't a good man for me. As fast as it started, it ended.
Then there were a few others that I would date and imagine a life with. Some were serious, some were just for fun. None seemed to make much of an impact on my life. I was just date to date. My friends began asking me who I was dating this week. I laughed and at the same time felt empty and knew they did not understand.
As time wore on, my on began to notice my withdraw and asked why I didn't just give my friend a second look. This friend had been a part of my life since I was 16 years old. I laughed at the idea. My son said it was the obvious thing to do since we behaved like school kids when where in the same room. In his words, were acted like second graders do when they like one another.
I don't really remember how it started, but that's exactly what happened next in my life. I began to date the one person I never saw coming because he was right next to me the entire time. The next year of my life would be one of passion, fear, love and heartbreak. Perhaps, it was the best year of my life and it all began with because my son saw something I never did!