How did I get here? Well, I won't bore you with too many details on the first marriage. Let me say that I married too young and didn't really know what marriage was about. After many years of self-loathing and being angry, I asked my first husband for a divorce. Immediately after we divorced, I began going out. I went through the various cycles of going out, dating, and being alone. In retro spec, I was very lonely and trying to fill a void.
Eventually after two years of ups and downs, I made mind up that I was happy being single and having fun. After all, I was only 30 and thought I was cute. Well, as the saying goes, when you least expect it... I met my second husband. It was love at first sight according to him. I think it was LUST at first sight for him, but I liked what I saw.
I was out with another guy, and we went to meet some of his friends. The guy I was with stepped away for several minutes, and my second husband swooped in to work his magic. Let's refer to him as Mr. Magic. Mr. Magic always knew what to say, and I often said that he could sell ice to an Eskimo.
Well, Mr. Magic gave me his lines and managed to get my number. Almost immediately, he began calling. He called nonstop until I finally answered the phone four days later. The rest is history.
During my blogs, I'll refer to incidents and events that we encountered in our marriage, but I won't go into details now. I'll finish his story by telling you what happened to lead to our divorce.
Our marriage wasn't that of fairytales and I often wondered what I was missing. Something I’ve heard my friends who are still married say. Well, apparently so did Mr. Magic. I suspected most of our marriage that he was having affairs, but never I never could find anything that proved it to be true. Until one summer, he left a phone receipt in his car. I had a feeling he had a secret phone, but could not prove it. When I saw the receipt, my heart dropped into my stomach. Immediately, I'm thinking, he has a secret phone so he can call different women. I gave him time to confess, and he insisted that I was delusional.
That was it, I was done! The next morning, I packed ALL his things in giant, black trash bags and put them in his precious car. He was none the wiser as he went to work as usual a few hours earlier. I parked the car in our driveway, changed the locks, and put my wedding ring in the driver's seat. Then I went to work and felt empowered.
Hours later, I called his secret number, and of course he didn't answer. So, I left him a message telling him where he could find his things. I then called the number I was supposed to have. When he answered, I simply told him to check his other phone's voicemail. He was flabbergasted, and acted as if he had no idea what I meant.
Finally, over a matter of minutes, he realized he was caught. He began confessing things. The confession I didn't expect came days later. This secret phone wasn't for random women as I suspected, it was for one woman. A woman, he had told me he'd never see again, and was done with. He had been secretly seeing her for months, and apparently had even taken her on a vacation to Las Vegas! My heart felt as if it was being eaten away acid. It burned. It hurt. It stopped skipping. It eventually ceased to feel.
In a matter of days, she sent me photographs of them together on their vacation. She sent me voicemails. Voicemails where he called her baby doll, and told her he couldn't stop thinking about her. Voicemails where he planned to see her while I was working or with friends. Voicemails that made me feel like I was in someone else’s life looking in. What had happened to my life? Our life? Our marriage? Our vows?
The answer to those questions came, when she called. She wouldn't tell me everything, but she told me enough to where I knew my marriage was over. She asked that I forgive her. I mouthed the words, but my soul wouldn’t forgive her for months.
I thanked her, and said goodbye to ten years of a life that seemed to have been lived a 100 years earlier, a 100 years earlier with a different man. I began the process of writing the ending to a book that I never thought would have an ending. Then contemplated how my new book would begin. What would be the introduction to this new story that I never expected to write? Those were the thoughts that final night, as I cried what felt like all the tears I had within me and eventually I fell into my first deep sleep as a single woman.
That was almost a year ago. Now you know why I am a divorcee. Now where is this road going? I don't know and I don't plan to use GPS to find out. I'm just driving. Since then I have had various adventures, in dating, friendships, and sexually. In the process, I'm growing and learning. It's been the most adventurous, crazy, and hilarious months thus far. I am looking forward to what more there is to come and along the way, I want to reflect on what I have learned, and continue to ask about what more I can learn. This book might have the most entertaining plot yet.
