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dating APPS

There are a ton of Apps that divorced, single, or cheating women can use to get a man. For any flavor, there is a App. Which makes me wonder, how are we supposed to find what is genuine in a word where everything is digital?

When my ex-husband first moved out, I felt a sense of dread and freedom. It was as if I was about to jump out of an airplane for the first time. I know that I could drift down with a parachute, but the thought of the parachute not opening filled me with dread. What if I would never find anyone? What if this was it? What if no other man would ever love me again? What if…?

My friends insured me that my parachute would open. As soon as they saw me look up, they downloaded the latest Apps and helped me create a profile. They would “swipe” for me, selecting what they thought was a “good match”. I would then steer the parachute toward the target, an actual date.

The first few conversations where strange, almost foreign to me. Men were crude, fake, and overly complementary. As a woman who was just cheated on, my radar immediately began flashing. What was their agenda? Where they just trying to sleep with me? Where they sincere? Where they just cereal daters? And the ever-important question, what was I “suppose” to say?

Well, I knew that I wanted to be that woman that would be interesting, funny and carefree. That’s ironic, because I was none of those things at that time. I was just a lost and unsecure woman trying to understand what the dating world was like now. I found myself in tears, not from sadness, but from frustration. How was I going to find a forever guy this way? How was some silly App going to deliver the man of my dreams that would never let me down?

That’s what I had wrong, it wasn’t. Sure, the Apps have given me a selection of men to choose from with a range of intentions. But it was me who was going to be the final factor in this equation. No App would be able to know who the right match is for me. The App was just a tool in doing something that I was afraid to do on my own, go out and meet people. It was a method of hiding behind a shield and looking around the corner to see if he was cute enough, stable enough, and worth me going up to talk to him.

Eventually, I did use the Apps and met a few men. Went on dates. Had a few quick meetings over coffee. Even traveled overseas. (You’ll learn more about some of those men throughout my posts). But what I realized was that this was just a doorway. That ultimately, I am the one that must know what my profile truly is, and what I want in the end.

People have met their mates on these Apps. Married them and even claim that this is the new way to date. That might be true, and I won’t discount it and say that it’s not. I continue to use them. I just think that before I put an ad out looking for Mr. Right, I need to ensure what Mr. Right means to me. I need to know who I am, or what my friends constantly refer to as, learn to be single. For now, Apps are helping me regain that footing that I lost while I was married and as a new divorcee. After all, before the parachute opens, you need to make sure it’s packed correctly and first you properly.


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